A Vision Realized: The Critical Step of Stopping

The vision that broke into my life when I was 30 set me on a life-long journey. In one weekend, I realized that my family included everyone around the globe. I understood that how money flowed (or got stuck) in my life and in society affected our global family, and I experienced a transformative spark of Spirit that holds together all of life, including money.

I cried at the enormity of this vision. I didn’t know where it would lead, but I knew that an earthquake shook my foundation and changed the direction of my life’s work.

by Khara Scott-Bey

I also knew I couldn’t walk it alone. I wanted to be part of a diverse community where we could support each other by standing steady in our values and partnership…no matter what.

I wasn’t sure it was possible.

After a 20-year journey, I found the partnership I’d been longing for in Wisdom & Money (originally called Harvest Time) and Be Present™ and, more recently, in the collaboration between the two–The Trailblazing Collaborative. (That journey is described in my previous blog)

I am living inside of my vision in the midst of a strong and transformative partnership with others, knowing it is indeed possible.

My life-long knee-jerk response to realizing any goal is to dive in and get busy. Vision realized—done. No time to stop along the way, as there is work to be done. Keep pressing forward. I’ve been well schooled in the cultural values and skills of efficiency and responsibility.

But, I discovered that pressing forward may look efficient, yet quickly moving on skips over the bubbling up of feelings and new possibilities and truncates the power that is released when a vision is realized.

I am in the midst of something new…that is simultaneously ancient. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a different paradigm is possible. In the world and in me.

My vision is big. Shifting the system. Stepping into a new paradigm. Outrageous. Audacious.

And I’m here, living right in the middle of that vision even as the divisions in the world around me deepens, violence spreads, racism and patriarchy flare—nothing new, just more visible. Right in the midst of it all, I know that something different is possible.

It’s time to stop and sit with that knowing.

I was guided along the way…supported at every turn…and I said YES, and kept walking.

Sit with that.

This vision manifested through the work and sight of many. And I was the one who first saw the power of this particular partnership between Wisdom & Money and Be Present. I’m comfortable sitting with the collective involvement of a network from both organizations, but slow to ponder my unique personal role.

Sit with that.

I sometimes feel empty. Being quiet with this moment isn’t as invigorating as being busy and “accomplishing” something.

Sometimes the quiet feels dull. Yet sometimes my emptiness opens up, and slowly feels less scary and strange and, instead, full of possibilities. And sweetness.

Sit with that.

I keep bringing myself back to this still place of savoring the gift I’ve been given and that I’ve participated in, one that is both complete and not yet finished.  My daily participation in this movement continues – within myself, within Be Present and Wisdom & Money and our trailblazing partnership together, and within all aspects of my life.

Sit with that.

I keep returning to stillness, even as I participate in the tasks to be done. Slowing down to settle in the gifts of partnership that have been given is a critical place on the journey. Letting the joy bubble up.

Allowing my old familiar fear that all could still be lost to arise and dissipate. It is becoming easier to be with my feelings but not react or get caught in their swirl.

Sit with that.

The longer I sit, the clearer I can see. The ups and downs, ease and struggle are all are part of the whole journey that brought me here. Noticing grace at every juncture of the journey.

Sit with that.

The work of collaboration continues. My calendar is full. Finding a rhythm of working and resting.

I keep returning to merely sitting with the gift of a vision realized. Gratitude fills every cell of my body. There is time enough for the work that lies ahead…after I sit with that.

I wanted to have this second in this series ready to go months ago. But I had to slow down and sit with all that was shifting inside before I could find the words.

The Wisdom to Stay Still

Ireland doorway by Judy BorkMoving slowly and listening deeply are common practices for a Sabbath day. Lately, however, I seem to be in seven-days-a-week period of deep listening and moving at about twenty percent of my normal, double or triple-tasking speed.

The nagging voices in my head are quick to point out how ridiculous it is that I am doing so little when I have a book to market, blogs to write, friends—some in very difficult situations—to visit and a hurting world all around me.

I know that voice: the good, responsible voice that fits right in with business as usual.

I don’t want business as usual. I seek to live into the new.

I am in the middle of several amazing conversations and partnerships across huge chasms of race, class and gender. It is the hardest work I’ve ever done. And it is the most transformative and joyful work I’ve ever done. I look forward to the time when I can write about the details of this work.

For today, here is what I know: the only way I can continue to walk this path is to honor my guidance to slow down, listen, ponder, spend a few minutes each morning tending to our garden before heading out on a walk, and wait for the next steps to emerge.

Slowing down in the face of urgent needs is part of my wisdom, not my laziness.

Something is brewing on the back burner of my life. I can’t yet see it. I catch a whiff of its scent now and again. I know it will have something to do with building sustainable partnerships across the chasms that too often divide us. I want to explore how to live our huge dreams right in the middle of our too often chaotic and unjust world.

That clarity is coming. Soon? Next year? That is not for me to know.

For now, I move through my days slowly. With profound gratitude. Connection. And lots of time for solitude.

If I am to take my place of leadership in our world, I must honor my wisdom to stay still and wait until the way forward is clear.

Originally published on the Divine Feminine blog page. Photograph by Judy Bork.

Whale Blows, then Dives Deep

The moment my eyes open

the old story—

inflated, puffed up and glowing—

shatters.

I sit with a heart full of dread

grief

sorrow

the ache pours out my eyes and belly.

I want to rush ahead.

How can I fix it?

Make it OK again?

Make this ache go away?

Escape merely tightens the clinch,

lets it all decay underground again.

One option is all that remains—

wait, sit in the ache.

Slowly

morning light returns.

The big picture emerges from the shadows.

The moment spreads across time and space.

A blue whale blows then dives deep down

into the abyss of the Monterey Bay,

making me remember

the present moment held in the middle of eternity.