{"id":1507,"date":"2022-09-01T17:10:35","date_gmt":"2022-09-02T00:10:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nancymthurston.com\/blog\/?p=1507"},"modified":"2022-09-01T17:10:35","modified_gmt":"2022-09-02T00:10:35","slug":"big-topics-at-midnight-ten-years-later","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nancymthurston.com\/blog\/2022\/09\/01\/big-topics-at-midnight-ten-years-later\/","title":{"rendered":"Big Topics at Midnight: Ten Years Later"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Tuesday, August 30, was the 10th<\/sup> Anniversary of the coming out party for Big Topics at Midnight: A Texas Girl Wakes Up to Race, Class, Gender and Herself<\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I just finished reading the book cover to cover for the first time since it was published.<\/p>\n

Of course, for me, this isn\u2019t just a book. It is my own dance of words exploring my journey to come to know myself beyond the often unconscious but nagging dissonance between my heart and spirit and the injustice I experienced within and around me.<\/p>\n

Ten years ago I wrote that I knew something different\u2014and far more beautiful\u2014was possible, for me and for the world. I wanted to live a life of justice and fairness for myself and I felt the responsibility to participate in building a loving community and world for my two children, Paul and Laura, their generation, and for generations to come.<\/p>\n

I come from a long line of stubborn and tenacious Tipps family women,<\/p>\n

\"\"
Drawing by Khara Scott-Bey<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

and <\/span>Big Topics at Midnight <\/em>shares stories of my unstoppable searching. Bold as my focus was, however, it was and was not a journey that could be walked alone. <\/span>Big Topics at Midnight <\/em>also includes a diverse collection of fellow pilgrims\u2014including many of you\u2014and organizations that knew how to hold the vision we shared in full alignment with personal\/organizational actions and structures.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"
Drawing by Khara Scott-Bey<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In the book, I wrote about my life as a myth: The Eight-Eyed Steam Girl in her Little Red Boat. In that myth, I played with two images that are core to my being. I am a many sighted woman: \u201cseeing\u201d with my sharp mind, intuition, noticing interconnections between different aspects of life, my budding awareness of my emotions, my body. I am also a woman who is prone to intuitive bursts of insight that drop into my body like a boulder, mixing my inner fire and water in a way that creates a steamy blast.<\/p>\n

Naming that aspect of myself was helpful. But naming itself is rarely enough for the transformation and alignment I was then and am still seeking.<\/p>\n

Today, over a decade later, I am coming to both a deeper respect and honoring of the many-eyed and steam-powered aspects of myself, AND I am excited to be in the learning of how to direct my steam energy in a way that allows me to slow down enough to bring all<\/strong> of myself to participate in the way of justice, fairness and love.<\/p>\n

For most of my life, when an intuitive knowing dropped inside me, the steamy blast led the way. I felt an urgency to \u201cdo something immediately\u201d and was VERY frustrated when others couldn\u2019t see what seemed so obvious to me. I pushed. I fought. I cursed. I always stayed in the conversation, but it wasn\u2019t an easy staying for me or for anyone around me.<\/p>\n

In the last year, I\u2019ve realized several things. When I lead from my steam-powered response, I have no access to the variety of other things I know about the issue\/situation: my quieter knowledge and experience. With only the steam power, I also am at the mercy of the urgent burst and, from that place, I have a hard time being in partnership with others as I can\u2019t easily listen to their wisdom about the issue. In addition, I\u2019ve never taken time to just appreciate this unique way that clarity drops into my body and knowing.<\/p>\n

This past year the eight-eyed steam girl has used her little red boat to carry me to a new shore. I no longer need to let her take over in her explosive, exhausting way. While I want the powerful energy the steam provides and I need to share the clarity it brings, in order for the resulting action to be the movement that I really want, that energy needs to be contained and focused. That is the skill I am now learning on this new shore.<\/p>\n

As I refine the process, I first want to stop and take time to honor whatever sight and clarity I am given. These are gifts, and I want to receive them as such.<\/p>\n

Next, as I contain and direct the steam, I can take time to see what else I know about the topic at hand. I\u2019ve been on this Big Topic journey for a long time, and I\u2019ve learned some things. I want to give the quieter insights time to emerge and join in with the new steamy clarity that was given.<\/p>\n

My urgency to act immediately, with steam blowing out in all directions, comes from a false belief that something horrible will happen if I don\u2019t share what I see immediately\u2014in other words, believing the lie that \u201cit is all up to me.\u201d In truth, since I believe that these intuitive knowings are part of my Spirit sight, I have come to trust that I will also be guided as to the best way to bring the sight I\u2019ve been given to a conversation with my partners.<\/p>\n

I am I ready to share my sight and listen consciously to others when I have added my fuller clarity and knowing to the contained and directed steamy sight. No more leading with my urgent fighting, pushing, cursing frustration. I am still responsible to share what is mine to share, but HOW I\u2019m in it can make all the difference.<\/p>\n

Now, from this shore, I can both honor the reality that I am an eight-eyed steam girl and act in ways that are in alignment with my heart and spirit and aren\u2019t so exhausting to myself and others.<\/p>\n

Near the end of Big Topics at Midnight, I wrote:<\/p>\n

Godspeed, my friends, fellow pilgrims on the path and dancers outside the lines. Grandma Ann and I will twirl together forever, weaving beauty across the rips in the fabric of life in the best ways we know how. In this dance, those willing to be cracked wide open will find that our differences add to the grace of our movement. Will you join us, \u2026<\/em> hoping beyond hope that our dance across the generations would serve those yet to come?<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"
Reading about Big Topics under the full moon<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The journey of awakening and alignment of heart, Spirit and actions may not be the easiest one you\u2019ve ever walked, but you won\u2019t find any better way to joy and delight as you continue in a grace-filled dance, feet on our shared earthly home, heart filled with Spirit and Love, in partnership with our global family.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you\u2019d like a copy of <\/em>Big Topics at Midnight, just let me know and I\u2019ll send you one (or more if you\u2019d also like to share a copy with a friend). It is a gift to you. Email me (nancy@nancymthurston.com) your address and I’ll mail you the book. If you\u2019d like to send a gift in response, make a donation to Be Present<\/a>\u00ae or Wisdom & Money<\/a>, the two organizations that fully support me on this journey of transformation.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tuesday, August 30, was the 10th Anniversary of the coming out party for Big Topics at Midnight: A Texas Girl Wakes Up to Race, Class, Gender and Herself. I just finished reading the book cover to cover for the first time since it was published. Of course, for me, this isn\u2019t just a book. It … <\/p>\n

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